It is 10:30 pm. I am in my room leaning on pillow that is diagonally leaning against the wall. The sleep is far away from my eyes. So I open my laptop, insert data card and connect to the internet. As I open the internet, the first thing that I remember is to type www.google.com.
The Google search engine greets me with ‘forecast of the woman born in 1985 in Chinese astrology’. I don’t know how it came to be on the search engine. I remember typing this words few months back when I was checking the forecast of to-be-wife. I accidentally typed the wrong year which actually was birth year of my ex-girlfriend who dumped me so badly when I was away in India studying. The memory hits me hard. The memory of her hits me hard during every leisurely time despite the fact that our relation was over four years ago. The successive girlfriends list doesn’t feature in my heart like that one woman who shattered my dream for once and all.
Today, I am building new dream where I can be king unlike four years ago, when I was slave and she was queen. Anyway, to get away from the Google, next option is facebook. I sign in and glance through names of friends who are online.
Today, Karma Dorji is on my top list. Just then he writes;
KD: hello boss…long time, no see
Me: Hello! How have been?
KD: gud n u?
Me: m gud dude
KD: so wer r u working nowadays?
KD: U married?
Me: no wai. Ngongpo mala
KD: ja la photocopy thur chana…
Me: (disinterestedly) wow
KD: what happened between you and Thinley?
Me: Fate mawa gidu
K.D: Rok tha ga Trashigang ga la ni
Me: (pretending to be bother less) I don’t care
K.D: wak tsa bu la. Nging samfang dewala…
K.D: why did u dump her?
Me; (irritated) she dumped me for that husband
K.D: so sori. I met them first time in Phuntsholing. Later I was shocked to meet them in Trashigang. They told me they are married.
The chat is just aggravating my longing of her. Though I know she is happy and I should be happy, I just can’t forget her. She is the woman who played with fire and burnt me instead. That chat is too painful to me as memory of good old times floods my heart. I become almost weak even after four years of break up. I have never wanted to remember but ironically I just can’t forget here. She left permanent imprints in my heart.