The Ghost in Royal Institute of Management
These days have been hectic with assignments like never
before in my life. Had I done work like this in High School, I would have been
doctor or somebody even greater in life. Candle of my energy has burnt out. For last one week, I have been sleeping late
and waking up early though it isn’t my style. Fatigue and depression have
seized my body and mind. Yesterday, I had stayed late working on one of the never
ending assignments. My brain was overworked, eyesight became fuzzy, energy has
been burned down but assignment got nowhere near completion. As famously called
‘realization walk’ in the institute, I decided to for solitary realization
work. With faded pants and smelly shirt on, I stepped out of the hostel.
The air outside smelled the summer. The wind passing through
the atmosphere gave me refreshing pleasure only night could offer to lonely
soul. The sky was deprived of its starry jewels but I didn’t care. I was not
poet trying to seek inspiration from nature. I was just taking break from
hectic work for few minutes even as clock had already struck midnight. The
silence of night was deafeningly loud. It was incredible that even mongrels
rampant inside campus didn’t make a noise. There were neither cricks of insect
nor traces of any noise within institute except for occasional passing of
vehicle at far end of campus.
I walked as slow as my tired legs demanded. I crossed the academic
and administrative block like an automated machine. Oblivious to my thinking, I
had crossed parking and reach the newly launched IT and Library center. The
roar of trucks going towards Punakha Tsangchu woke me from my reverie. I had
drifted to nothingness even as my body was functioning like machine. And I heard
a soft cry. I listened craning my head to gauge the direction from where soft
sobs emanated from. The sob seemed strangely familiar. I walked towards the
direction of sobs which seemed to coming from direction of RIM gate where there
is tiny dark dale.
Even in the day, I felt strange whenever I crossed that
place. The tiny chorten above always reminded me of story of saint conquering
demon and erecting stupa on it. As I walked towards, sob grew louder. There she
was. I could see her through glimmering weak beam of street light which has
fallen there through parted cypress tree. She was wearing red checkered kira
(mathra gho) and patterned green tego(traditional blouse). The dresses looked familiar.
Even her cascading hair looks familiar. She was crying facing the river at
lower end of the road with her face planted on squatting knees.
“Hello,” I ventured. She turned her head. She has grown weak.
Her eyes were sunken onto socket. Her face was blemished with excessive tears
and her mouth was dry and cracked.
“You,” I said disbelieving. She smiled through her drying
tears.
“Yes,” I said, “what are you doing here?”
“I came to see you one last time,” she said. “At this hour?
Where have you been all these years? Why didn’t you call me?” Many questions
blurted out of my mouth. She ignored my curiosity. I have forgotten that there
was no mobile phone when we were together.
“I came to see you one last time,” she repeated.
“Where have been all these years?” I asked again.I have never
seen here in last eight years.
“After you left to Mongar, I got proposed from my ex-husband.
We got married after high school,” she explained. I now remembered that when I left
Pemagatshel to Mongar School, she was left behind. We used to write for some
months but distance separated us both. That was the time before Bhutan has
mobile phone connection.
“How do you know I am here,” I asked her.
“That is not important,” she stated. As it was habit that
didn’t die even after eight years, I wiped her tears with my hand. She let me
wipe her tears. I wanted to hug her but she backed off when I tried.
“Don’t touch my back,” she said and I complied.
“You have never grown old,” I observed. ‘You have become
fatter but you are as burnt out as before,” she said referring to my
complexion. We laughed.
“So how did u get here?” I asked as I couldn’t control my curiosity.
“Told you that it is not important,” she spoke sternly. She wasn’t
changed. She has her stubbornness intact.
“Where will you spend your night,” I asked concerned. Of
course I could smuggle her into hostel for a night.
“Don’t worry about that,” she assured me. Except for reason
that she came to meet me, she refused to say where she lived or what was she
doing.
We talked of our forgotten high school forbidden relation. We
talked of some old friends I could hardly recollect their faces. It was almost
three a.m, when I reminded her that I needed to sleep as I had class next day.
She gave me a kiss on forehead. As I couldn’t control my urge
to hug her goodbye, I embrace her. She
has no flesh on her back. I could feel her skeleton. She became furious because
I found out that her body was nothing but skeleton with dresses put on. “Told
you not to hug me,” she said. Even as she spoke I could see eyes and ears
disappearing from her face until it became skeleton. Finally she disappeared altogether.
I didn’t realize it was not her but her ghost wandering in
samsara. I wasn’t afraid even as I returned to hostel because I was thinking
about what happened to her. Only when I reached hostel, I realized that I was
drenched in sweats. She was not the girl was I knew on junior high school. She was
her ghost trying to lure me to death trap.
Today when I was browsing face book, I learned from a friend
that she died three years ago in Melong Brak (Mirror Cliff) between Trashigang
and Samdrum Jonkhar when she was coming to Thimphu to meet her husband.
Yesterday was her death anniversary. Though I couldn’t do anything but I managed
to chant mantra ‘OM MA NI PADME H UM’ a hundred times. May she rest in peace wherever
she is in samsara. But when I get my first salary I promised myself that I will
light a thousand butter lamps for her.
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