Erosion of Community Vitality sense due to materialism imbued in me
When
I was a kid, village festivals and annual household rituals were great sources
of excitement for me and other children of my age. We would dress up in our possible
best whenever there is community Tsechus. We would go early in the morning and
returned late at night. We loved to watch Atsara teasing village damsels with
wooden phallus while girls giggled and played coy. I often wished I was that
clown so that I could crack vulgar jokes with those beautiful damsels. In the
same way, boys of my age never missed annual household Lhasel or household
deity propitiation which usually started in the evening. Boys of our age
especially teenagers would be coerced to shout vulgar cants and do vulgar acts as
required by those village priests according to their religious texts. We would
happily shout vulgar things like, ‘the hostess has deep holed female part and
head priest has long male part.’ We would also cover ourselves with blankets or
cloths and perform dances and do coitus play as village priests cited religious
scriptures often with by clashing of cymbals by choirmaster, beatings of small
drum and clanking of hand bells by head priest, beating of drum by drummer,
singing of oboe and blowing of trumpets by other priests as dictated by
choirmaster’s cymbals. Our favorite part was, however, watching an old man,
usually played by extrovert elder, scolding and torturing grandmother Torma(
ritual cake built as grandmother) for failing to be faithful and take care of
grandfather. We would laugh as old man made witty comment defaming his
so-called wife. Then we would help grandfather in taking ritualistic cake out
of house with all required rations like wine, food and edibles. As I remember, we rushed to help grandpa
mainly to eat those foods once outside the threshold of door as food used to be
at least partly rice while our daily staple food was kharang or grinded maize
at that time. When grandfather re-entered house, he would bring huge phallus
back as his orphaned son. If he couldn’t find one, long rounded pestle
(symbolizing male private part) used for powdering chili would serve the
purposes. Then he would ask for names starting from head priest followed by
other priests and then from guests depending time break taken by priests before
starting fresh ritualistic performances. Priest would usually give names like
Phallus PemaLingpa, DrukpaKinley’s bastard, Fuck Helper etc. along with token charity
to orphan phallus. All names would be associated with erotic symbols. These
were done to ward of evils from household for a year. Till annual ritual came
to an end, unabashed shout like ‘oh hostess, give me sex. If you can’t give, at
least give us good wine’ used to reverberate the house.Apart from close family,
even distant cousins of hosts were expected to make some loud vulgar shouts. At
the end of the ritual, village damsels would lead others to dance. Such
merrymaking would last till cock crow or dawn depending on availability of
singers or audience. At the dances end, priests would award some money as prize
and chant some good luck mantra. The final song would be always song invoking
good fortune for the hostess. Today, all these seemed to me like a dream so
surreal and childish.
Now
I am somewhat educated and am living in town with my family. The sound of
rimdro or household tshecu really irritates me especially when it performed in
neighborhood after nightfall. It disturbed my child’s bedtime schedule. It
disturbed my sleep as I have wake up early for next day’s work. Sometimes, I
want to kick the door of those neighbors or household that disturbed my night.
I want to shout all obscenities and allegations for disturbing me and my child
with their nonsensical belief. When I say this, I don’t mean I am not Buddhist.
I am still a Buddhist. I chant six-syllable
prayer sometimes. I go to propitiate my child’s birth deity. I got to sacred
temples on sacred days or before I do important works. I receive blessings from
important lams and re-incarnated monks. I refrain from killing insects as much
as I can and I feed house pigeons often.
But
somehow, the noisy religious practice outside temples or monasteries really
irritates me. I also get angry whenever people boast of initiating religious
activities. Perhaps, seventeen years of education changed me. Perhaps, I have
lost my connection with roots and Buddhistic
values i was brought up in. Perhaps, fast-paced city has killed my happiness
and sense of contentment in values I cherished as a child. Perhaps, idiot box
has replaced my sense of entertainment and relaxation. Perhaps, modern
education and materialistic environment has erased those values from my system.
Today, I feel that those ritualistic puja is waste of time and resources. The
oil and money offered to religious activities seem to be making big dent in
family’s small income. The time spend on those religious activities seem to be
eating up my entitled leave duration and free weekend. Sometimes, I even feel
that talking to my next door neighbor over a cup of tea is waste of my precious
time.
Then,
as I remember those fond memories of village where time traveled so slowly, I
felt like I was luckiest guy on the planet despite shares of its problems. That
was the time where unnecessary worry had not touched my mind. That was the time
where community cared for me and I cared for community. That was time where I
felt whispering of winds. That was the place where I saw dancing of trees. That
was the memory which I can really call happiness. But then, I have crossed many
miles away from such idyllic situation into world of cutthroat competition and
materialism. Today, my religion is selfishness. Today, my value is survival for
fittest. And I am afraid if I ever turn back, I will not survive in either of
the world.
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